As I embark on this new journey, I thought I should find some role models for myself. They may not have been spinsters for their whole lives, but they embody the attitude I want to start cultivating. Here they are in no particular order.
The first spinster role model, from Little Women. All Jo wants to do is read, write, and not have to get dressed up for parties. She’s always up for an adventure, rescues whoever needs rescuing, and is smart as a whip and isn’t afraid to make sure you know it. Plus Katherine Hepburn and Winona Ryder plays her in the movie, which is automatically super cool. Either is fine to play me in my upcoming biopic.
How many apples does she plan on eating?
Patty and Selma Bouvier
They like to smoke and watch MacGyver. They travel all over the world. They have an iguana named Jub Jub. And they definitely don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks of them.
Everywhere she goes people get murdered. But the point is she goes places. She’s constantly visiting old school friends, neices, cousins, and the garbageman’s daughters college roommate. Sticking her nose into every mystery. Generally being a pain in the ass. This is definitely the kind of old broad I want to be.
Do not invite this woman to come visit you.
Liz is basically me at work. Takes it super seriously and very personally, but still feels like she’s making it up as she goes along. She also has a boss that’s WAY richer than her, which again, lots in common. Liz is possibly more focused on snacking and eating than I am, and I go to funerals mainly for the lunch afterwards.
I’m thinking of getting this as a tattoo.
Finally, O is #spinstergoals. Also the only actual person on the list. Everything about her is awesome. She’s got a boyfriend who makes way less than her, she wants to stay home and just be cozy in her $300 pajamas, and she gets to tell people what they should read. This is my dream life!
Me too, sister. Me too.
So there you have it, my spinster role models. Add some more suggestions in the comments!